...I'm gay.


You will probably be able to guess what this post will be about from the title... Yep, I’m gay! The past few months have been such massive milestones for me in terms of my sexuality, and because I consider everyone reading this as a friend, I wanted to share my journey with you. As always, but especially on this topic, if anyone needs advice for someone to talk to, my DMs are always open, or you can contact me by looking at this page!

Let's get this "straight"...

Let’s start from the beginning. I’ve always been gay, but I only really knew I was gay when I was about 12 - when I figured it out, I made a pledge to myself to never tell anyone, ever. It breaks my heart to think of 12 year old me, curled up and sobbing to myself because I hated myself so much. I’ve learnt to love myself now (I love Pride!), but there’s still times where it is really hard to.
Then, when I was 13, I made a really close friend (who I can’t name because they might be reading this), who was really open about sexuality and its fluidity, which made me totally reassess the situation. I then told myself that absolutely nobody could know I was gay until I was 15, because I thought that nobody would take me seriously. I don’t know if that would have been true, but I do know that it’s shameful how our heteronormative society thinks that queer people might ‘change their mind’, yet from birth they’re constantly trying to put every child into a straight relationship. I could talk about this forever (future blog post maybe?), but for now, I’ll just say it’s disgusting.

Coming out for the first time.

If you know me at all, you’ll know that I officially have a significant other. Yes, I am as excited as you are at reading/typing that sentence! They identify as genderfluid, and they were the first person I ever told that I was queer, so it was probably a bit different to what you’d expect. I told them I was gay to hint that I had a crush on them, and I knew that they would accept me because they identify as queer themself.

But then, obviously, I wanted to tell my friends the good news! So gradually, I came out to them, and they were super supportive too. I told my sister, and she was really happy for me as well. So then I came out to my parents - they already knew my girlfriend (just not as my girlfriend), so I just told my mum when she was in a good mood. Both of my parents have been so kind and supportive, and in which I’m so lucky. I know so many LGBT+ young people don’t have such positive experiences, and I’m so grateful that my family love me no matter what.

Although I’ve been really lucky in my experiences, no queer person has it as easy as straight people do. Someone who I would have regarded as one of my closest friends told me that just writing on her blog that I had a girlfriend was “inappropriate” and “unprofessional”. I told her I was gay in December, and we haven’t spoken since. It makes me sad to know that I’ve lost friends over just being who I am, but if they’re that toxic, I don’t want them in my life.

Coming out for the second time.

I say coming out for the second time, but for every queer person, the amount of times you have to come out is endless. In my school, it's pretty conservative and there are not many LGBT+ people who are out. The ones who are out generally tend to be unpopular and people are mean to them. I didn't want to be pretending I'm someone I'm not, so I wanted to come out to everyone at once. I put on my Snapchat story "I'm gay" with a drawing of a rainbow.

It was a really big thing for me, and I was so so so nervous, but I'm really glad I did it. I have a network of friends who I know will support me no matter what, and that I would be safe. A lot of people still gossip about me and my girlfriend, but I'm much happier being able to be myself.

I just want to say that to any queer people reading this, whether you’re out or not, you are brave and you are loved. I don’t think straight people realise just how hard it is to just be inside your own head when you’re queer. The heteronormative society we are living in is so cruel, and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m always here for you. You are loved.


Feminism TBR


As you know, I love reading, and I’m a very passionate feminist, so obviously, I find books about feminism so interesting. I have so many on my TBR, so today I thought I’d show you some of the ones I’m most excited to get to.


I mainly read fiction, but I find non-fiction about feminism fascinating. I’ve read the classics (Bad Feminist, We Should All Be Feminists, anything by Caitlin Moran, etc...), but there’s still so much out there that I’m yet to read.

Shrill by Lindy West

I love reading essay collections/memoirs because they feel so personal. I’ve been hearing so many good things about Shrill, so when the hardback (which is gorgeous!) was on sale, I knew I just had to buy it.

It’s about learning that your opinion is valid as a woman, and that we do not need to be quiet, small, or take up less space. I haven’t read anything from Lindy West before, but I follow her on Twitter, and she’s so funny! I’m hoping to pick up this book when I’m feeling down, because I know this will make me chuckle, and essay collections have a way of making me feel less lonely.

Girls Will Be Girls by Emer O'Toole

My sister bought this without me, and ever since I’ve been jealously eyeing it. I hadn’t heard of it until she brought it home, but since it’s been on my radar, I can’t stop hearing about it! I love books that take a critical look instead of telling personal stories (I like those too!) because they get me so angry, so passionate, and so ready for change.


Needlework by Deirdre Sullivan

I picked this up at YALC last summer, and as soon as I bought it, I have been itching to read it. I have no idea why it’s still unread! Grace has recommended it on her blog so many times, and I trust her opinion greatly, so I know this will be one for me. Louise O’Neill has blurbed it too, so if she says it’s brilliant, it must be!

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

This book is a bit out of my normal comfort zone, but I know I’m going to love it. I don’t think this one is explicitly about feminism (correct me if I’m wrong!), but I know it’s about the power of sisterhood, and women sticking together. It seems like a beautiful book, and everyone’s talking about it, so I know I need to read it soon so I’m not left behind!

The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis

Again, I’m not really sure if this is specifically about feminism like the others, but I’ve read the synopsis and I’m pretty sure the women this are pretty badass. It’s about Alex, who after her sister died, learned the art of fighting and violence. Just the title makes me want to read it!


The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

I can’t believe I haven’t read this one yet! If you ask someone for a feminist fiction recommendation, they’re bound to mention this. I’ve been desperate to read it for ages, so when I convinced my sister to buy it last week, it might have been they best thing I’ve ever done.

Sales of this have risen by something ridiculous since Trump was elected, which makes me scared yet very excited to read it. I know it will be an important book, even if it is hard to get through because of how poignant it will be. The world is shitty, but at least we have good books to lose ourselves in.

Villette by Charlotte Bronte

I’ve never read a book by any of the Bronte sisters (I know, it’s shameful!), so this will be my first. I think it’s so important and interesting to read books about feminism written over a hundred years ago, because any books about women’s rights will be so ahead of their times. I’m so enthusiastic to see Charlotte Bronte’s perception of how society treated women in the 1800s, even if I am a little scared because long classics intimidate me!

Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

I’m almost scared to admit that I’ve never read a book by Virginia Woolf. I know a little bit about her, so I know she was a brave and admirable writer - and a revolutionary feminist, even for her times. I’m scared to read this one too because I’ve heard that her writing style can sometimes be hard, but I’m so ready to read this that I’m sure it won’t matter. I’ll just have to try a bit harder, which is probably a good thing!

Have you read any of these books? If so, what did you think? Any other recommendations for feminist books I need to add to my TBR?